Saturday, February 17, 2007

Not Forgotten

Sorry everyone I am going to write tonight or tomorrow. Just trying to figure out how to structure it:) Stay tuned......................

Ok so I have been on several interviews and all have offered positions and they all have good and nad points. The job is something I can do solo but I would like to save myself from stumbling blindly so I may go with one of these offers that has a training program. On the flip-side the job is 100% commission so these programs are unpaid! So hmmmmm.

Can anyone explain to me why now, now that I want to fade away into the woodwork I am more recognizable than ever before? When I wanted that and craved that I couldnt get it! (Ironic isn't it) Now that I dont want to be bothered it happens to me on an every-other-day basis and most often in the least place I want to be seen! The trick is somehow to incorporate the new field with the celebrity to my advantage.

I am trying to learn everything I can about my new venture and have a mentor I am working with but I wonder if I would fare better if I was in a f/t training program but then again you still end up on your own anyway. Marketing is marketing whether its porn, pussy, or products!:) So I am just feeling my way I just dont want to make a wrong move you know.

On the love front,,.................................there is NOTHING!!!!!!! Nada, zip, zilch!!! Valentine's Day I went to dinner with a close friend but we are not exactly a full blown couple although we have been in the past. But it was just dinner and that's it. Boring huh?!!!! I tried to tell you.

I am actually trying to get another puppy. I am so in love with Cockapoos.I am looking for an all black male one that is really fluffy!!!!!

Sorry there isn't more to report other than my daily battle with whether to be Ayana or someone else!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

How's your love life coming along? Will you update us on that, we would like to know what direction your are going with that. Hope to hear from you soon.

Anonymous said...

I am just happy that you are happy, and I hope everything works out. As a fan I will miss you, and as a man, I wish I was the lucky guy. Bottom line whoever employs you is getting effort, professionalism, and character. Thanks for the memories.

forever a fan.

pstarr said...

Isn't that just the way it is. You trying to be incognegro and everyone recognizes you. I would suggest thinking about what you really gain from a training program. Can you gain insight from your mentor? Traing programs can be very restrictive. On the love front, just take your time. Love usually has a way of catching us by surprise. Keep at it and things will work themselves out. Peace.

Anonymous said...

Ayana, I tell you reality television could work for you. If a unattractive woman, with a horrible sounding voice and a unattractive mother by her side such as New York of I Love New Youk can get a show, I know people would love you. I for one rather watch I Love Ayana.

Anonymous said...

I Love you so much, Ayana. Why are you so great?

Unknown said...

Okay I can see from the nature of your posts that you're obviously doing some deep thinking maybe even soul searching. I wish I had some one liner like they do in the movies that provides you with the epiphany that you need where all the answers suddenly come to you in a flash, alas I don't and frankly some of the issues you raise seem to actually require a critical approach. Sooo...on that note I will do the best I can to try and say a lot with a just a little. I'll ask you to forgive me in advance if at any point you come to believe that I've presumed to much in any of the following I'm about to say.


First is there a guarantee with anything in life? Are you actually saying that you've never experienced a situation where you believed you did everything right, performed the way were supposed to and did whatever else was required of you and still didn't have it work out for you? Whether you're talking about love or life (meaning work) isn't it true that the things that usually hold out the most promise also seem to require the most risk?

Love - If it's what you're really after, can't be approached by like a lottery. You'll never have success if you approach it that way. Think about that the things that will keep you together with someone both now and in the future for when you really do decide to stop being Ayana Angel.

Work - I don't know if I have a clear answer on this one except to just provide a repeat of the above -anything worth while is worth the risk. Besides ask the most successful people around and they'll all tell you the same thing that they've experienced more failure then success. But they'll also tell you that you tend to learn more from failure then from the idea of just being successful all the time.

Well I hope that you'll find some of the above useful and that I'm not just yammering on it's about 3:00 in the morning right now so I may not be as sharp or focused as I should or would like to be. Anyway take care and hope to hear from you again soon.

Anonymous said...

Keep your head up, what you seek will come

Anonymous said...

HI AA
You should be more confident in yourself,no one wants to stumble on the job but its part of the learning process.This will actually help you focus on performing your best,we all have that fear and thats what pushes you to great accomplishments.Thats life when you want want something badly its not there when you move on it arrives.Maybe now that you are moving alone those whom have taken you for granted notice what they missed out on.Give it some time eventually things will settle down and you can blend in once again.Ayana believe in yourself and remember its natural to feel that way but don't let it stop you from doing what you want to do.take care

Anonymous said...

I know you've been in the adult business for a while, and I'm guessing you've made a ton of money in the adult business, Why go looking to work for someone else and not start your own business?