Ok for all of you men who don't believe or understand why women like other woman I have 2 shows for you to check out. The first is a reality show on MTV called "A Shot At Love with Tela Tequila". This chick is right on the money with her analysis and synopsis of being bisexual and explains the difference between being with both sexes in a relationship and the sex itself. As a result of the show the star Tela was on the Tyra Banks Show today and was able to elaborate in depth on why she is the way she is. For those that think its a fad its not. You just know. and there is an extreme difference that has nothing to do with the physical act of sex itself. If you can catch either I think you will have more insight. For me at this point I am more attracted to women on a day to to day basis but I tend to think its just a result of my last rash of idiots I have run across so I I am not as ready to deal with men on a relationship level at the moment other than friends and NOT friends with benefits.
As for those that wondered where I was for whatever reason people get too consumed with what Ayana does and thinks and they take this blog and turn it into something else totally rather than a place where I can voice MY thoughts and opinions. As a result the amount of hate mail, backlash etc juts reached a point where I didn't even want to post anymore. But after a break I'm back and I say this to those people: The amount of energy you put into harassing me, worrying about me etc you could turn into something positive. I do not give me limited time to worrying about what someone I don't like is doing, saying, wearing, dating, going etc. Get a life and no one is required to read this blog, period! For all the haters; as my friend M.W. would say Psalm 109 is for you. I had to smile at that 1. They even talked about Jesus!
As far as what I have been doing....nothing I have really tried to maintain a low profile for a # of reasons. I wanted to make the regular world really work. And for those that said "I can't believe anyone would recognize you in day to day life", I say this: Bull Shit.
I purposely took a job with the opposite race as to not arouse Ayana sightings way on the other side of town where the % of blacks is less then 2%. They never noticed at work and if they did they never commented. But the minute they had an ad in a real estate magazine with a corporate company photo instead of calls about homes, loans, and credit now the calls are: "Can I speak to Ayana?" :Do you know that your employee pictured looks like Ayana Angel?" Luckily the # listed was mine so I was the one to screen the calls. But I mean really come on people! There is no Ayana mentioned in the ad. I went out of my way to look 'corporate' in the pic and I personally don't think it looks like me but I guess that's what I get for thinking.....!!!!
Then there is the gym that I sought out in the same racially challenged community so as not be harassed by people that act like paparazzi when Ayana is involved. No I would say it was about 1month before they told my trainer who was clueless that his clients was this porn star. How the heck do you recognize someone from a video in the gym with no make-up, hair in a scarf or uncombed all together??????????
Then there is the recent marketing push for my toy (yes the Ayana toy mentioned like what 2years ago) and one of the last videos that has resulted in full page ads in hip-hop magazines across the country!!! Whats so funny is that I am only in 1 of the 3 videos listed but you would think I just made some movies yesterday the way I am featured in the ad. Its ironic because this same type of advertising is the very same route I begged and pleaded with the video company to do when I was in the mix and under contract. I know that would push me etc etc now here it is 3 years later and now they want to try my marketing plan. Ironic alright.
I don't know if its Atlanta which is why as soon as my house sells I am out 100% rather than the 50/50 I have with Miami now. But I think its is ATL. I don't get the Ayana in other cities at all when I out dong normal things. Now I cam sympathize with Brittany Spears etc. I would be on some shit too if I had people in my face everyday wanting as the song says "A Piece of Me". Who knows maybe I am not just as celebrity struck or perhaps its because I was naive and always thought when I wanted to do something else I could with no problem. Or I was naive into thinking that people actually have lives but I guess they do not and those they see on the Internet become their obsession rather than what it is which is entertainment.
I say all this to say I still have NO desire to do videos but if you are going to seek Ayana out I will make it easier for you and profitable for the real me. Here shortly so you won't have to make up stories, search relentlessly, ask others, email etc anyone to find out what I'm doing. Just wait for it:) I guess I'll be the female Jay-Z of porn!!!
As for football....Does anyone want my tix to the Falcons? They are 1st row 25 yard line. Can't get much better. The cheerleaders are right there and rotate each 1/4:)!!!!Haha
Sorry so long but wanted to let you know what's been going on with me. Oh now that I have gotten rid of the imposters on My Space. I might as well give you my "Official" Page : http://www.myspace.com/ayanaangelatl
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9 comments:
Welcome back,prettygirl. You had me worried for a second. I thought maybe you forgot about this blog.
I know it's easier said than done,but forget about what people may say or think about your porn career. You didn't do anything wrong! It's not like you shot JFK or robbed a church.
I'm sorry that you came across a few knuckleheads in your dating life,but you know,life is funny. It's when you stop searching for that perfect person,is when life delivers them to you. It may be a chance meeting at the supermarket or at where ever.
Tell me something,if i'm not being too intrusive,what are you most passionate about in your life? Your job? Maybe a hobby like painting or writing? Or working out? What gives your life juice?
Wow I was wondering what happened to you as well. I am sorry about what is going on in your life right now. I have no words for it. Its hard to comment on what a person is going through when you have not been through it yourself. I am sure you will meet a nice guy if you choose to though. I guess it is all about being patient. Ayana you have good friends online. Don't let people stop you from doing what you like to do. Let it be your choice not to blog anymore don't let anyone alter your thinking. Misery loves company remember that. As far as the bi-sexual thing, I am going to leave that alone because I honestly don't know any bi-sexual girls (I know a few) that are happy with men. There are good men out there but you have to be willing to committ and be honest with them all the way. Put everything on the table and give them a choice at the very beginning. Don't hide anything. It is good to see you are doing well though. Hey maybe you should live in a smaller city. Who knows that may work better in your favor.
Well I've said it before and I'll state it again, I personally enjoy reading your blog and I enjoy reading it because it's the only place (that I'm aware of) where I actually get to hear your opinion. I've even tried to solicit your opinion on different occasions (albeit with no response) but ask for it I did.
All I can do is repeat something else that I've also said before: Please don't let others ruin for myself and I'm sure others like me who actually enjoy reading your thoughts the posting of your blog. That is, of course, except when you're going off on men (joke) ha ha.
Please continue to share your viewpoint with the blog , because I'll be waiting. Hope to hear from you soon.
Well, I haven't seen your movies, but I like your blog! Sure, you don't seem to be a 49'ners fan, but there are worse things...like being a Dallas fan...you're not a Dallas fan are you?
lol
I have a question, which might by odd from most that you get, but I just started writing a blog on blogger.com, (I wrote a small piece about the importance of writing a Will in the wake of Kanye West's mom dying, but the topics will usually center around pop culture and marketing).
I know with your celebrity people will seek out your blog, but how can I increase the traffic to my blog or at least get on a rss feeder?
Thanks for your help
K
I hate that you are getting the celebrity status after your retirement from the industry, but you gotta admit Ms.Angel its not like you wouldn't be sought after anyway, You're a good looking woman. I'm from Atlanta, born and raised, and I hate that the city has left an unsavory taste in your mouth. I would say stay longer and give Roswell a chance try over there. But once you've had your fill for an area you gotta leave. I hope the bad taste, the Falcons, and stupid people don't stop you visiting from time to time after you leave or talk down on my hometown.
Oh, by the way, the way the housing market is you may not leave until summer, Unless you wanna take a loss and who wants to do that.
All in as a fan I enjoyed your work and very glad that you were able to go on and do other things in your life.
P.S. If you want to hide in Atlanta live in Virginia Highlands no would even care.
Ayana, I remember when you was in Black Gold Magazine. So I knew about you well before the porn career. I thought you was a beautiful woman back then, and I still do now. Don't sweat these morons. You do your thing, Ayana. Your true fans will have your back. Peace and Blessings.
Ayana I'm really sorry for all that you're going through. A word of advice... the only way out is to start your own business, when you have a connection with someone else people will try their hardest to drag your name through the mud. Unfortunately you have immortalized yourself in film, Ayana Angel, Skyy will live on for centuries good/ bad. There's no way for you to be low profile, unless you move to a complete hick town and even they watch porn there! You have a unique look, though us black women resemble one another in some way... You have a knock out body, so there will be much attention given to your face. Most men will figure it out while others are clueless...
Center yourself become 100% comfortable with who you are regardless of the situation. Be strong enough to walk away from anything toxic even when it involves starting over.
Best Of Luck,
Kira
Ayana first of all I'm glad your blog is back, I enjoy reading what's going on with my favorite ex-porn star. I love tht new features of voting on particular items. It's sad to see that you let negative comments run you off and yes I agree that you do come off as arrogant sometimes, but it is your blog and you have the right to come across in any way you choose, but please refrain from comparing yourself to what JESUS went through. I think you just have to accept the posting for what they are, just someones opinion. You know who you are and what you stand for so that's all that matter, at least I hope that's all that matter, besides most of these people who are posting to your blog don't know who you really are and probably just trying to get at you. Besides, positive as well as negative responses makes a good blog. No one wants to read a blog were everyone is kissing up to the owner of the blog all the time. As for your popularity, why are you surprise, all the attention is a good thing and I think you are right to make it work for you. It will be a long time before you can live the normal life you are seeking, but keep in mind once you are no longer recognized and can live your normal life, that will mean you are no longer a valuable commodity and just a normal part of society. Glad your blog is back stay strong and don't let the haters deter you.
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