Thursday, April 05, 2007

Normalcy!!!

Ok I don't know if I am turninging into a total lame or I was just burnt out or what but I like working! I feel far more important now and my confidence has definitely increased. I am not as concerned about being 'spotted'. I have become quite comfortable with just being regular. Who knew! It's so much easier. My biggest complaints.......................Atlanta traffic. The office I work out of is like 3o miles away on some of the busiest highways so its a small window to avoid traffic or I just go in super late and stay late. But luckily only 2 more weeks of that and then my office will be HOME!!! Yippee

Ok I must say for those of you gentlemen that have been on the fence so to speak for what like the last 6-7 years..........you snooze you loose. Like be serious did you think I would do this forever?? And those in ATL, I cut ATL out a long, long time ago so sorry but you better come to the table with some business or catch me the few times I am available elsewhere.

As for the love life again no news is good news. Definitely bump into lots of possibilities but there really aren't enough hours in the day anymore since I work! My schedule is crazy. I am in the is workout bootcamp from 6-7 am every morning then twice a week I still work out with the trainer so add work to that I am in a coma usually by 9:30pm! It keeps me out of trouble that's for sure. I have been going out more on the network tip. Dinners, cocktails, etc stiff I used to cringe at so we'll see. But at the moment my focus is trying to make this change into a permanent one. I will say my mood swings are not nearly as bad as they used to be. I guess it was just time to scale things back and have a defined plan.


So that is all for now. The biggest issue is patience! Never been a virtue of mine and its very hard to develop it at 30 almost 31! Ha Ha. I hope all is well with everyone. Take care!


The Pornstar Formerly Known As....................Ayana

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did not know you had retired. Well congrats on the new job. I am like yourself, don't get to do too much. I am working and taking classes but will have to take a year off for work because I travel a lot in my job. Good luck on the dating thing as well. It is a hard thing to do these days. Everyone is working and traveling which is sad to me. I think this world is in too much of a hurry and no one ever gets a chance to enjoy the simple things life has to offer. Haven't been to the Atl since the 96 Freaknic (those were the days:)). The trip part about it that I only live 3 hours from the ATL. I have traveled so much in my life that after awhile you get burnt out and now I have to do it for me job so I enjoy the home time when I get it:). Anyway take care and good luck on your job. I wish we could have met. It would have been a honor

Anonymous said...

Is your site going to saty up now that you are entering the buisnes world

Anonymous said...

Why would you feel like you were not normal? You never deserved less than anyone else. Everybody gets side tracked in life, the important thing is to realize when you get side tracked and get your life back on the productive path. Just thank God that you realized this while you are still young enough to make the change. Think about all the people who love and care about you, I'm sure those people love you no matter what you choose to do with your life. I'm starting to really like the new Ayana, even though I loved the naughty Ayana. Keep striving for the best.

Anonymous said...

Hi Pornstar formerly known as Ayana

I will not use the name Ayana in reference to you. You are on your way to normalcy. Congrats! Beware of temptation to revert back and stay strong in the face of this temptation. All roads eventually have potholes but don't focus on hitting the pothole. It always about how you come out of the pothole.

The journey you take now maybe best taken alone so you get to the other side. Love is a distraction plus a PIA (pain in ass) at times. But sex is awesome. Ying and the Yang - the story of life.

I saw you as a provider once and then failed to keep appointments then you kicked me to curb. You were right to do that. I asked a provider you know that I see for a reference(SJ) and you agreed to see me. However, I still found a way to F-up. My bad.

My point with my story above is that sometimes we can't get out of our own way despite all the help we receive. We are sometimes are own worst enemy.

I sent a message earlier that you eventually will need to take this site down as you move to the mainstream. Once this site is gone, all will know that your transition is complete.

Thanks for allowing us to follow your transition. Will check-in here and there and comment as necessary. Be well!

C

Unknown said...

Good luck with your latest venture. If you're ever in New York I'd love to take you out for a drink. All the best

Anonymous said...

Good luck in the new job and the transition you are making. I have always wanted to meet up with you, but it sounds like you are not going to see anyone in the ATL.....too bad. Maybe I will be lucky and end up in the same city as you before you are out of the game, but it would be great to catch up with you since we are in the same town! Good luck again!

DJKB said...

I think it is wonderful that you are trying to make a change. Not saying the adult industry is bad, I just know it takes a lot of courage and patience to make any career change. From reading your blogs, it seems to me that you already have patience. You sound like a together lady so I am sure you will do well in your new career. Just have faith. Faith sustains you and keeps you going.
As far as the dating thing goes, whoever gets you will be a lucky man I am sure. A sister that has beauty on the inside and outside is a deadly combination. Wish I was in the ATL, it would be a honor to be able to take you out:). If you are ever in Nashville, let me know:).
Take care and I hope you have a wonderful Easter weekend. I am glad you are posting. Would very much like to know how things with you. If you ever need any encouragement, I am here for you and I am sure the others are as well.

pstarr said...

Living here in the ATL (Cobb), I know what you mean about traffic. Just keep up the good work Ms Lady.

Anonymous said...

dear ayana
never really done anything of this nature but in my weekly, i mean daily voyage to research new and classic i noticed your out of the "bizz" and i had to at least try to let you know i think your very talented at your old thing and you helped me thourgh some lonely times(lol) sorry it sounded funny at first but i just want you to know if you ever in ohio we got your back. we as in me and my crew of whatever guys;) AND NEVER STOP THE PAPPER CHASE cause we wont stop. p.s. if you retire i'd like to offer you this last bit of my unworthy feelings keep on BALLLIN