Decision Aug. 07'

Well blog readers the time has come to vite on this week's topic!

Possible blog topics:

1. Is this dude he gay/bi-sexual.........

2. Do I want to sleep with him out of spite........

3. NFL picks for the 2007/2008 season.........


Feel free to vote on those or tell me what you'd like to here!! What's on your mind.

Kisses,
Ayana

Atlanta Is Burning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok well I guess Vick's nickname "Superman" fits because he single-handedly destroyed a franchise! I am sure I will catch hell but guess its my blog and I can say what I want!
How stupid is this dude? Then I here he just retained council today????? Is he serious? My advice to Vick take the plea deal. Cut your losses and take the deal. Many smarter than he and with less on the line as far as the nature of the crime have rolled the dice with the feds and lost. Martha Stewart ring a bell.
Hell it was only a state case but the reason why Genarlow got that time is because he didn't take the plea deal. His cohorts are out been out. Take the deal!!

And for all the members of the "its because he's black" club. Be for real its because he's STUPID!!!!!! PETA protests everywhere from Capital Hill to the Gucci runway at a fashion show in Milan. This is about $$$. The money he is costing the franchise, himself, the fans, the NFL, the sponsors. The interest % alone he would have earned on just his NFL salary not his endorsements would have been far greater than a $30K bet here and there. If you want an adrenaline rush hell do a line or two, pop a pill, (they would have sent him to rehab after they let him slide the 1st 10 times)take up NASCAR, jump out of planes, join the police department, become stunt man whatever but do not embarrass a city and then try to plead I didn't know defense.

I said previously that he would not play in Atlanta again and I think today's press conference was pretty clear on where the Falcons stand. I still say at the 1st opportunity the Falcons will cut him. Forget him ATL. He was never going to take us to a SuperBowl. Although he was fun to watch. Hell we didn't even get to the playoffs last season. He doesn't care about us so ATL get over him. He is the poster child for illiteracy and ignorance at its best. He is from a family of the same (Marcus ring a bell).

Let's look back at all the issues, anyone remember the Ron Mexico incident (hell maybe his new endorsement should be for Zovorax) then there is the weed/airport incident that went away (I'm sorry we all know what weed smells like but in MIA you can buy your way out of that), then there are all the my entourage flies because I am the face of Airtran incidents that those outside of ATL may or may not have heard of, and now this.

I know we "don't want to forget my boys" or "where i came from" but for $100mil give all 'your boys' $1mil and a financial advisor and the following warning : I am giving you this because you are my boy and we go way back. Take this $1mil and make your fortune or blow it all. Either way you can never say I didn't look out for you." People have made their way in the world with far less than a $1million hand out.

Sorry ATL. Sorry Arthur Blank but its ok in time ATL will recover. Let's hope Shockley steps up because I will NEVER wear a Harrington jersey EVER!!!!!!!! I know somewhere Schaubb is laughing hysterically.

Oh and let us not forget the warning given by Jim Mora Sr. Those words "coach-killer" seem haunting now. Perhaps he saw what we all were blinded by:). I don't think Jim Jr. has any regrets at this moment.

On another note I went to the Beyonce concert last Friday night and there is a celebrity that lives up and surpasses all her glory. She is even finer in real life and can sing on the levels of a Patti Labelle, and performs in concert similar to Tina Turner or Prince supremeness. That is an all around head to toe baddest chic in the game and I am sure she will remain that way for a long time to come.

Change Is Coming........NFL/ATL/DC Madam

Well well well. Since it looks like Mikey is on his way to the slammer I must exit ATL stage right as well. Its been a lot of fun but I have always wanted to get back to MIA and now is as good a time as any. So Dade County welcome me back:)!!!! Plus my new job has an office with my name on it in the MIA so by next month this time ATL will be history except for the games I already have tickets too.

Especially now that the Dolphins have seen things my way and RELEASED that dead weight they call Culpepper. Wouldn't it e ironic if he ended up in ATL. And who is it that decided to trade Matt Schaubb? I bet their days are numbered:).


OOOOOOWWWWW-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE its gonna be a great NFL season!!! I cant wait. But I can not stand with Vick on this one. The things he is alleged of participating are so evil and cruel it just makes you want to puke. I have a dog and I am looking to get another and I cant even fathom some of the atrocities listed in that indictment. His career is over. Doe. A family with so much WASTED talent!!!!!!

Anyone care to pick who the last 4 teams will be in the final face off? I will go out on a limb and say I see the Patriots back in it:). I will have to do more research to come up with my other 3.

Anyone watch the ESPYS. Is T.O. the lone-star of the Cowboys or was that his tribute to the 'Lone Star' state?

I was going to touch on the DC madam thing but I think I will leave my comments out of it but I would love to here yours:).

Look to whoever said I am not standing by Mike no and neither are the Falcons. Have you read the things that are in there? Be for real you dont know a kennel that is visibly seen from initial photos of construction of the house. Come on who are we kidding. You forget I live in ATL and I know things. So its not an issue on idictment. This is a federal case and I don't know about you but the feds don't come a knocking without all their ducks in a row. Not to mention you have as many parties and fight-parties there are a host of people available to testify as to the validity of the charges. As for Culpepper you will see when they 1st picked him up I said he was worthless and now they finally see. I have never been a fan of Culpepper and never will be.

MY SPACE.......Again

Ok this has really got to stop. Now there is a 2nd Ayana-my space imposter. I will say it again I am 31 yearls old and proud 5'4

These are the imposter pages:

http://myspace.com/ayanaangelonline

http://www.myspace.com/ayanangel

I cant not stand myspace and barely log on. The only reason I have a page is to deflect the nonsense. So whoever this is get a life. Why put up a page and then link back to my real contact info? What's the point?

This is my page and as you can see I barely log in nor do I really add friends its useless and pointless in my opinion. http://www.myspace.com/ayanaangelatl

And you Wonder Why I was so Hard on Genarlow...

This story absolutely disgust me. It makes me question pure evil in the world and further grows my Conservative views when it comes to crime and punishment.

Palm Beach Post
Police: Woman Forced Into Sex With Son
Updated 4:50 PM ET July 6, 2007


By BRIAN SKOLOFF

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) - Two teenagers were accused of gang raping a woman and forcing her 12-year-old son to join in the attack, then beating him and pouring cleaning solution into his eyes.

Authorities allege Avion Lawson, 14, and Nathan Walker, 16, were among a group of about 10 masked suspects who forced their way into the woman's apartment in a crime-ridden housing project the night of June 18.

The two were being held without bail Friday on suspicion of armed sexual battery by multiple perpetrators, sexual performance by a child, armed home invasion and aggravated battery. Both were arrested this week, but formal charges had not been filed.

"Any rape case is horrible but this takes it to another level, something you can't think of even in your worst dreams," police spokesman Ted White said.

According to the police report, a man knocked on the woman's door at about 9 p.m. and told her he had a flat tire. The mother and son, whom police have not identified, went outside and were ambushed by a group of gun-wielding suspects.

The victims told police they were forced back into their home and beaten and sexually assaulted. According to authorities, the men raped, sodomized and beat the woman, then forced her son to participate in the assault at gunpoint, making him have sex with his mother in front of them.

The boy was then beaten and had numerous household cleaning liquids poured into his eyes, according to the police report.

The suspects also stole a few hundred dollars worth of cash and jewelry, White said.

White said more arrests were pending, but he would not say if authorities had identified additional suspects. The teens in custody were not cooperating, but Lawson confessed to taking part in the attack, White said. Walker has denied involvement, White said.

DNA evidence in a condom found in the victims' home linked Lawson to the crime, police said. Investigators also say they found a palm print belonging to Walker at the scene.

The victims did not suffer life-threatening injuries and have been released from the hospital, White said.

"They're going through the county victim services for counseling," he said.

Lawson lived in Dunbar Village, the hardscrabble project where the attack occurred. Walker was apparently visiting a friend there, White said.

Authorities believe the suspects all knew each other from the neighborhood, but they don't think they knew the victims directly.

Prosecutors have 21 days from the time a suspect is arrested to formally file charges. Lawson was arrested Tuesday. Walker was arrested Thursday.

A call to Lawson's public defender was not immediately returned. It was not known if Walker has an attorney.

Then his mama will be on TV saying how she doesn't believe the charges and her son would never do anything like that. I hope they get the death penalty in this case because there is no rehabilitation from this if you are that far gone as a 14 and 16 year old. None whatsoever. That is pure evil in the flesh.

.........and to the smart ass about what my mother would say. If I did something negative or commited some heinous act I assure you my mother would not mince her words nor would I expect her to. She is a realist and is fully aware of what I am capable of. She does not agree with my chosen path now and has made that very clear but this and that are no where near the same. That is what I meant if my mom was questioned she would say she does not approve or support my life decisions, that I ws not raised that way and that she prays daily for my exit. She is no fan of Ayana I assure. But she is my mom and I respect her and her beliefs etc. Now whoever wrote that about forcing the 12 year old to have an erection. The didnt get that specific who knows what type of sexual act they forced him to do you are missing the point and a little twisted in your thinking?:)

I am very republican texas-style in my thinking when it comes to crime and punishment. I think if the death penalty was enacted more and done quickly instead of 20 years on death row the world would be a better place

Celebrity Gossip, Paternity

FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY......:)LOL!

Ok now before I begin let me state for the record I AM NOT REFERRING TO ME IN THIS. I will say it again because I know someone out there will say its me. I AM NOT REFERRING TO ME IN THIS.......

Ok I have a celebrity friend that is known to be how shall I say very friendly with 'shoe models' and porn stars. I actually have a big crush on said celebrity but not enough to put up with all the drama and BS that would come with being in a full blown relationship with this person. So instead when I feel like being bothered and he feels like being bothered we may hook up. Now lately I have been ultra busy time wise because now I am a regular working girl and my energy level is not there to go to work all day and then hang out all night. Nor can I just pick up and go out of town like I used to be able to. So as a result (would've happened anyway) said celebrity has taken up with a local 'shoe model'. Said 'shoe model' now claims she is pregnant. Now when I heard of this through a credible 3rd party I jokingly let him know the rumor (without naming names) and he laughed it off. But 2 days later my informant asked if I had spoken to said celebrity because they had started world war 3 with the 'shoe model'. Now my question is this. As a man in a high profile position with a known celebrity girlfriend, what would your advice be for the 'shoe model' who is definitely pregnant and from how things transpired I would say is more likely than not to be pregnant from said celebrity.

Personally I know this gentleman and he can turn dark quickly especially when challenged or backed into a corner. My advice, go to the clinic and get it taken care of. Because there is no real relationship there and said celebrity has enough $$$ that even if she were to file for paternity he is capable of delaying until that child would be in high school before a ruling would be made. Then being a 'shoe model' how will she be able to support herself????


What do you gentlemen think?

And for the record that is not what I do I don't get pregnant for two reasons. 1. I am not letting anyone raw-dog me, and 2. Birthcontrol works when used!LOL:) And to answer Chante's comment I meant in personal life I am not in the habit of letting people do that and on film I can only think of 1 maybe 2 cream pie videos. Not to mention I havent done a video in over a year so I'll say it again I am not letting anyone raw-dog me. That was and is an honest statement.

And to 'Anonymous' I never said I hooked up without finance. I rarely do that. If there is no $$ involved its a relationship and most dont want to go there because the fall out is far worse than any regular chic I am liable to get revenge with guns blazin. So never assume. Said celebrity prefers to pay because it keeps the lines visible in most cases I assure you!LOL!

In response again no apparently you don't know me too well. In regular reltionships I put up with nothing that early on because if they do BS in the 1st 60-90 days its not going to be any better later on in the relationship. That is when they are on their best behavior and if you see something you don't like then no need to drag it out. I am notorious for cutting people off for minor to major infractions during said probationary periods. I just don't tolerate much when it comes to relationships because I dont feel like I have to just so I can say I'm in a relationship. If you read through all the posts this is not the 1st one to get cut off for what you may think is silly. The point is there are too many people in this world to tolerate nonsense. It wasn't the point if he was fucking someone it was the issue of total lack of respect for my time and consideration.

You would be the 1st man on the planet to not get upset if you're girl was cheating because you were. You know it doesn't go like that. It doesn't even go like that for me. I don't care what I do, you can not do the same to me and think its ok or we should be even. We would just be over. That is just the way it is.


Yes celebrity and his girlfriend have been together for some time now (years) and I know for a fact that he has sex-capades as often as possible for whatever reason but he's a celebrity. There is a price you have to be willing to pay in order to call yourself their girlfriend etc and some women are willing to do that. I just don't haeppen to be one:)LOL!

In response to Genarlow Wilson

Ok to whoever that was that made the last comment. In the state of GA 17 os not a child 15 is. I was not watching or performing in porn at 15 or 17 years old. You can't even legally buy porn at 17 so if he learned it from watching that again where did he view it where were his parents. And obviously he was the mastermind and manipulator since out of all parties involved he was the oldest and the one who should've known better. I am not sticking up for the girl her she is just as out there but I am sure it was not her who decided it would be fun and according to the case reports etc it was not her which is why he was originally charged with rape. In the end she ended up doing as asked but was coerced and manipulated into it. I am not saying she is no culpable but I am saying this dude should still be locked up. As for me and what I do or enjoy I am 30 years old almost 31 far from 17 and old enough to deal with the consequences and outcomes of my choices. I think whoever the adult was that got this band of misfits a hotel room and alcohol should've been prosecuted too. And yes the 15yr. old's mother is culpable as well but I dont see her on TV saying how her daughter was a role model and such a good girl. I am addressing who is claiming their 'baby-boy' is so innocent. I never said any of the acts were nasty etc I said to have that type of sexual appetite at the age of 17 is definitely deviant behavior. This was not a porn production for $$ this was a homegrown sexcapade not the same at all.

My support of Don Imus is not even about him its the fact that how can we be so quick to pull the trigger there but its ok for any black man/rapper/athlete/ etc to call and portray black women as bitches and hos all day long. This is a belief that starts so very very early in the black community (ie Mr. Wilson) its no wonder the terminology and mindset carries over to other races. I don't care what that girl allowed herself to talked into doing; if you are such a star athlete, student, and role model he should've his family should've instilled enough sense of self to know better than that shit at 17! I still say you have had to do so much sexually to get to that point I am willing to be we here of another sexually related charge on said gentleman in years to come. That is NOT normal highschool activity period.

As for me being a porn star, escort, stripper etc what's that got to do with Genarlow Wilson. I'll say it again when I was 17, I was a freshman in college because I had above a 4.0 and was ready to enter my freshman year. I might have had sex twice by that age and none of my friends etc were that much more advanced either.

As for Liquid City what do you want me to say. Mystikal is doing his time as well he should for raping the girl in the video. But that case has more angles as she was extorting $$ from him so no where near the same and no one was 17. So forgive me if don't see the correlation. I see tha ttorney general seems to agree with me:)

Genarlow Wilson, Sexual Deviant

This case really irks me. I for one do not feel at all sorry for this little sexual deviant. I was 17 once and I can assure you I was NOT having group sex and video taping it! If you are doing all that at 17 you are not normal. I did porn and do you know how comfortable you have to be to have group sex and video tape it? It would have never happened at 17. I personally think that is a clear indication that there has been so much more done up to that point that is was just another episode in a script for a future Ted Bundy in the making. If you sexual appetite is that far at that young an age where is there to go? What's left for adulthood? I think this dude deserved every bit of those 10years and I hope the judge's ruling is appealed and lands him back in jail. I promise you will here from him again this time for full blown rape. At 17 he mastered his manipulation and womanizing skills enough to talk this 15year old into making home grown porn. Highschool? And what kills me is then we wonder why Imus and everyone else has this opinion. Obviously this kid has no repect for women and will never learn any if he is that out there at 17. His mommma needs to be locked down too instead of being on the TV talking about "he was always such a good boy". Mrs. Wilson was that before of after he shoved his dick down a childs throat and winked at the camera? Is that the behavior you taught your good son at 17??? adults can do what they want but that is so far gone sexually to be so young. any thoughts on this issue?????????

The Counter Offer, Sopranos Finale

Wow I am really feeling myself. So I basically told my manager that would not work for me and also let her know how I felt bamboozled etc. She came back with a better offer. Same original salary (the one that was acceptable to me), +$2k signing bonus (payable this week), bonus incentives, and I can definitely work from home 2-3 days a wee. So I am going to discuss further when I get there today but to me that was even better than what I started off with. So thanks to all who suggested I just let it rip and tell them how I feel!

Now I don't know about you but as an avid fan of the Sopranos I was so extremely disappointed with the ending. I basically stopped my life for this show weekly and what was that nonsense I saw? The Arab dude walks by (wasn't that Christopher's friend Mohammad) and Meadow is running in the door looking crazed and what?????????????????? I understand you can't kill off Tony for movie possibilities but come on!!!!!!I felt robbed cheated!!!


Thanks for all the support!!

Kisses,
Ayana

Employment Sucks!!!

Ok I tried everyone and I can't say I quit but let's just say the frustration level is at a boiling point. I had what I thought and was fed to believe was this great job 100% commission and basically making your own schedule. Training should be 5 weeks (in addition to the class I took and test I passed to get my license) and if you follow through things will be great etc. Ok I did that. I did more than that. Thee were 5 newbies and now 3months later there are 2.

Out of those 2 who has had any deals? I have had several deals that have fallen apart because the office is so busy when you ask for assistance instead of walking you through it, its either go see if so and so can help you or just do this. So I have lost a few from lack of attention and time length before I get an answer. So for me I was not as pressed financially as the rest. So they all claim I am going to be great etc its just a matter of time, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I guess some of the other newbies started crying because hell by now normal people if they had any $$ would be broke for sure. so they decided to offer us a salary. Whoop de do!!! Not to me because I know salary means you now have to report in and be accountable. And the salary in all honesty after taxes and social security is nothing to me. I was making that much when I was contracted to VT and only had to work like 2 days a month! So now you seriously want me to drive 35miles each way and be there like 5days a week 8 or 8+ hours a day?

So my motivation has begun to wander and I get to work but somewhere between 10-noon but again that was never the plan! I would not have signed on. I could get a job same pay if that is all I wanted that is a whole lot closer to home.

Now they hit me with "We all think you are going to be amazing" blah blah blah 'but we want to change your position again'... Huh what the f**k? Now they want to drop the salary by 15K and up the commission but make me the manager's assistant basically. They call it coordinator I say assistant for 12months. Now you know if I am the managers assistant I will now really have to be in the office daily without question and to me at the moment commission is like air because I cant see it!LOL:) so no matter what they are giving me on commission it doesn't commute. If I had the free time before to cultivate the business according to their play book and it hasn't grown so far now you want me to take a pay cut and 'learn the business' for 12months. No one ever said it would take that long.

I can admit it. I think I made a mistake trying to venture outside of my field or maybe I should've never believed the hype they sold me during the interview process but I am frustrated for sure. I hate to be a quitter but this is some for real BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One thing is for sure though I am still not doing any videos. I have learned through all this I can get a job with my eyes closed and to most society standards I think that is middle class pay but that is not what I am looking for. I need career and higher level pay. So I am still there but I will be 'respectfully' declining the latest scenario so we will see what happens.

The Real World Really Really Really Sucks!!!!

Kisses,
Ayana

Yeah Culpepper is OUTTA HERE!!!!

Ok they haven't said it 'officially' but the moment I and all true Dolphin fans have been waiting for ..........................Get that dead weight off the field!!!! But alas we still have Trent Green hmmm can't say I am jumping up and down about that one.

Ok had to add since had a comment. I have never liked Culpepper long before the Vikings issue at a party he was not even in attendance. I didn't think he was anything when he was at UCF and there was all that controversy about him not getting enough accolades becuase he was black. He was mediocre at best then and now he is a lemon on a quarterback with a career ending injury and even without the injury he only had one, count it, one good season. Stop living is the past this dude is and has been washed up!

Mr. Vick lets see...............if his on the field performance does not overshadow his off the field antics i predict this will be his LAST season as a falcon PERIOD! I personally love Mr. Vick but enough is enough. When is the ship gonna come in on the 100 mil. pay out??? He definitely needs a chaperone. I think I will submit a packet offering my athlete chaperone services to these knuckle heads! I love Vick but again if you can't do more on the field than off the field there is a distinct conflict of interests that affect your job and these need to be addressed this season or go sit at the house with Marcus.

Thanks Gentlemen!!!

Well I have received some very good applications but if there is no email address how can I respond? So if you would email me privately that would work!!! Plus I had a very interesting idea presented and I need to tweak it a bit but basically a contest and the winner will get either a night or weekend to wine me dine me etc. Details to follow for sure.

Now on to the NBA Finals. I am so tired of San Antonio!!! Can you say BORING!!! And am I the only one who wonders how Tony Parker pulled Eva Longoria? Can anyone understand what the hell he says when he speaks?!

Is LaBron ready to be MJ reincarnate? Hell no and I mad that they are even making that comparison at all.

Well right now I am back to taking applications and nothing too heavy. Actually this JOB has me so tired at the end of the day I cant function but I am still there. I will admit its a mental fight every morning to get me out the door but I have a time frame I would give it before I make any moves . So if you can't keep the rules you set for yourself that's pretty bad!LOL

Also if you would like to have any topics addressed let me know!

Kisses,

We all Knew It Wouldn't Last........

I knew I knew it. You know sometimes I wonder if this is all there is relationship wise................games and BS!!!!

Ok the 'Young Buck' got the ax and to be honest I am not even mad but I will not tolerate too much BS from anyone much less a 24yr old!

So to make a long story short he's outta here......

Next!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were doing good, spending time, blah blah blah. I even cooked. Yes that is what I said cooked. It was very normal and fun for a tad. But you know in the end that, I have to go to the club weekly, started to irk me, but when you go to the club and are supposedly on your way to my house then disappear til 3pm the next day that is a whole nother issue. And to be honest a simple text message or phone call I am not going to make it would have done the trick. But no and then when I have something to say about it is was obvious how defensive he became and acted like a real ass or an issue that was minor. No one really cares where you went or who you fucked but respect me enough to say something rather than act like nothing happen. But in the end his mouth and the way he handled that situation got him cut. Hell its only been about what 6 weeks, If you cant keep it together that long we would have bigger problem later for sure. So next !!!!!!!! no accepting applications.

Wanted
A man good looking to gorgeous
$75k and up income
adventurous
open minded to mi bi-sexuality
Age 32-40
Southern gentlemen type qualities and manners
Hmm what else
single (do I need to say that)

Ha Ha. If you fit into those intial requirements now is the time:)

Nappy Headed Ho DVD

Ok check this out. As porn always does they are taking a real scenario (IE Imus) and creating a DVD entitled Napppy Headed Ho. Now its porn so was I offended no. Hell I was not offended when it was said by Imus. But there apparently is now a sense of 'heightened' awareness in the black porn community and there is a petition against Kiss Ass Pictures, the company making the video, by some of the black producers in porn. Are you serious?????????? Give me a break!!!

Its PORN people. It is meant to excite, offend, creat fantasy, and be politically incorrect! With titles like Black Street Hookers, Pimps Up Ho's Down, Parking Lot Pimpin etc why should this title be anymore offensive than any other? Its PORN for goodsakes! Depending on who you are the act in itself is considered degrading. So the title is really irrelevant.

I mean seriously I was floored by the petition. At the end of the day porn as every other industry tries to capitalize on whatever they can and a Nappy Headed Ho DVD will sell and it will get made just like all the rest and the world will still go round. Since when did PORN producers black, white, chinese, purple or blue give a f***k about how the girls in the video are perceived in society or about breaking stereotypes. Porn is based on stereotypes (ie. Ghetto Booty, Black Dicks in White Chicks, Mami Cula Grande) etc etc etc. give me a break people. Before you get on your righteous high horse remember that..............IT'S PORN!!!!!!!

That Fight Was BS

Ok I don't know about anyone else but I need my $59.95 back! Did anyone see a punch that looked like it had any power to it? Its like when is the fight going to really get heated? Then it was over and how did Mayweather pull off that decision? After all that trash talk he barely hit ODLH. Uhhhhh I think it was all to get Oscar the big retirement payday and to get Mayweather another belt so they can boost up the next fight with Mosley.

And what's up with Floydd senior's hair? Is it just me or does he remind you of the Clingon on Star Trek or better yet the Predator? Uhhhhhh.

But it was a virtual cornucopia of who's who but BS just the same!

De La Hoya/Mayweather Continued

Ok I am sure I am turning into a total lame now. I had 2 tix to the fight plaza level given to me for FREE and do you know what?????? I didn't go. I sold the tix. Why would you ask? A number or reasons. One it was very last minute notice, but the funny thing is that would never have stopped anything before. Two and the most pressing reason is because I felt like I would 'fall of the wagon' so to speak. In the sense of running into old crowds, old scenes, the whole party life-style etc and I didn't trust myself 100% to not fall weak since the new JOB is so fresh and new. Hmm not sure what to make of it all. But I am a little sad I didn't go listening to all the hype and the celebrity attendance list!LOL! But I have my 59.95 ready to go. Plus the excess for the tix sale. (I did give the original purchaser some of the $$ back, thank you very much!)

So what am I doing today? Working until fight time. Huh funny isn't it.

On the love scene I met someone that really piques my interest although quite a bit younger than me. To be honest that is making me really leery. We get along great. Share same interests etc. They like my shit talking and can deliver it right back and most of all they get me out of the house. I even went fishing off the lake a few days ago. But I refuse to be played by a 24yrs old!!!! I just can't let that happen so I have toothpicks stuck in both eyes to see the BS if it comes!LOL:)

Okay so I took my earnings and bet on GOLDEN BOY to win with a knock out late in the fight. Yes I know Floyd is fast, (fast as hell), but he just is way way too mouth and I just want someone to shut his ass up! Plus Oscar is sexy! And I think he still has one good last punch left in him. After that he needs to go sit down. Talk about a pay-day though!

Let GOLDEN BOY Win with a KO!!!!!!!!!

Kisses,
Ayana

NFL Draft Day, De la Hoya/Mayweather

Ok Ok yeah football is back if only for a weekend!!!!!

My hopes for draft day? That my beloved Dolphins get their wish and snatch up Mr. Quinn. Atlanta ]???? No comments we;ll see what they do.

I have been dying to get to the fight next weekend in Vegas. But alas $6k for a tix???? Those days of the lavish expenses are long gone. So sensible me will likely have a fight party and do the Pay-per-view thing:)LOL.

On the work front I am still having fun and enjoy what I am doing so for me that is 1/2 the battle right there.

On a love front...............no love but I am definitely out more and more sociable so the dating pool has increased but the great part is I don't have too much time to get 'caught up' in anybody so from a defensive standpoint its great! Ha Ha

I will continue after the draft.

Imus Issue

Ok I was debating on whether to spaek my pice on this but I can't hold my tongue any longer. Personally I was not offended and why????? Because its something that I hear on a day to day basis on TV, radio and just in the street. Black women have been called bitches and ho's by other black men and women alsmost as long as the N-word has been around. And there is no distinction on the use of the word in our community. You can be a lawyer, doctor, CEO, stripper, or porn star and you will still get called a ho. Its is the new adjective. So forgive me but Don Imus was trying to be 'cool' and 'hip' on his show and I can assure you he didn't get that word from his caucasion background. I don't think we can ask for his head on a platter until we ourselves stop calling each other derogatory words as nicknames and slang on a daily basis. Thoughts on the issues?????? I ill say that it is sad that the focus has been completely lost on the game and the team that actually won the champioonship.

Normalcy!!!

Ok I don't know if I am turninging into a total lame or I was just burnt out or what but I like working! I feel far more important now and my confidence has definitely increased. I am not as concerned about being 'spotted'. I have become quite comfortable with just being regular. Who knew! It's so much easier. My biggest complaints.......................Atlanta traffic. The office I work out of is like 3o miles away on some of the busiest highways so its a small window to avoid traffic or I just go in super late and stay late. But luckily only 2 more weeks of that and then my office will be HOME!!! Yippee

Ok I must say for those of you gentlemen that have been on the fence so to speak for what like the last 6-7 years..........you snooze you loose. Like be serious did you think I would do this forever?? And those in ATL, I cut ATL out a long, long time ago so sorry but you better come to the table with some business or catch me the few times I am available elsewhere.

As for the love life again no news is good news. Definitely bump into lots of possibilities but there really aren't enough hours in the day anymore since I work! My schedule is crazy. I am in the is workout bootcamp from 6-7 am every morning then twice a week I still work out with the trainer so add work to that I am in a coma usually by 9:30pm! It keeps me out of trouble that's for sure. I have been going out more on the network tip. Dinners, cocktails, etc stiff I used to cringe at so we'll see. But at the moment my focus is trying to make this change into a permanent one. I will say my mood swings are not nearly as bad as they used to be. I guess it was just time to scale things back and have a defined plan.


So that is all for now. The biggest issue is patience! Never been a virtue of mine and its very hard to develop it at 30 almost 31! Ha Ha. I hope all is well with everyone. Take care!


The Pornstar Formerly Known As....................Ayana

Updates!!!

Hi there soooooooooooooooo sorry I have been out of the loop trying to get it together you know. I am quite happy, elated even with the way things are going. Its nice to have to use yoru brain every once in awhile you know. I am really excited about my exit strategy and what the future holds.

I realize I must be on the right track, either that or there is a free HATER-AIDE give-away!!!:) I even had someone e-mail me that I can never do anything else and that I need to 'stop putting' on airs. Wow. I know most that have an issue with me don't believe I could have ever done anything else but perhaps the fact that I did go to college and grad school before I did any of this is always what set me apart. I can actually hold a conversation outside of "uh, uh, uh Ahhh"!! I am not really upset at the hate mail, it makes me laugh now even harder. I don't get why people that have such negativity are so moved by my comings and goings. Who knows, who cares!!!! I do not think I am better than anyone in fact I know that I am not. But I am smart enough to make MY OWN decision to move on. Nothing against those still doing whatever it is that works for them but it wasn't working for me. I just moved on to the next episode that's it and thank God its on my terms and not a forced situation. Like Kenny Rogers said,...."YOU GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO FOLD THEM, KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY"....you know the rest.:)

Unfortunately for you sports fans, I am not a basketball or baseball fan really. I tend to watch the final four, and the NBA playoffs, but can't sit through a whole baseball game. BORING!!!!!! So you won't get any educated picks from me on those sports. I think they make a ridiculous amount of $$ and some of there whining just amazes me.......and makes me sick:)

Love??????? No news is good news. I am working on career right now so actually having to show my face somewhere and do work with regularity, frankly makes me tired. I end up falling out around 8:30 so no energy level for drinks, dinner, etc until I get on my own time. About 2 more weeks to go!!!

But that is all for now just wanted to give you an update and thanks to all the well wishers that helps me get out of bed every day!!!!!

Love,
Ayana